'Til Death Do Us Part: Analysis of the Marriage of Stella Dubois and Stanley Kowalski in "A Streetcar Named Desire"

STELLLAAAAAHHHHHHHH

One of the most central themes in Tennessee Williams’ play, A Streetcar Named Desire, is the relationship dynamic between Stella Dubois and Stanley Kowalski. Stella and Stanley have a very fraught marriage. Stanley is very violent and abusive towards Stella. Even though Stanley treats Stella terribly she continues to make excuses for his behavior and stay married to him because she has no choice. Stanley’s actions and Stella’s response to them not only affect themselves and their own relationship but also affect other characters and their relationships with them.

In the very first scene of the play we are introduced to Stanley and Stella and we start to get a sense of them as characters and their backgrounds. Stanley has just come back from work with his friend Mitch. Stanley is carrying a blood stained package from the butcher. From the stage direction we also get a description of Stella, “[Stella comes out on the first floor landing, a gentle young woman, about twenty-five, and of a background obviously quite different from her husband’s.],” (4). Stanley calls up the stairs for Stella and she tells Stanley to not yell at her, but he continues to yell. He then proceeds to tell her to “Catch!” the package of meat. Stella protests, but Stanley still throws her it anyway, and Stella still catches it. Stanley then goes out to leave and Stella has to yell after him, “Stanley! Where are you going?” Stanley replies, “Bowling!” (4). Stanley then proceeds to leave with Stella running along after him. Although this is the first and a brief interaction between Stella and Stanley it ends up laying the groundwork for the dynamics and events in their relationship to come. This scene is an example of how Stanley puts Stella into situations against her will, like yelling at her and throwing the meat at her despite protest, and forces her to go along with them, like her still catching the meat. Throughout the play Stella continually justifies Stanley’s bad behavior. Stanley makes a mess of situations with his behavior and Stella is left to pick up the pieces. 

Stanley treats everyone badly, his friends, Stella his wife, and Blanche, Stella’s sister. Stanley’s friends are all male and although he treats them poorly like yelling at them and occasionally hitting them, he treats women with a specific and more serious cruelty. “Since earliest manhood the center of his life has been pleasure with women, the giving and taking of it, not with weak indulgence, dependently, but with the power and pride of a richly feathered male bird among hens,” “[He sizes women up at a glance, with sexual classifcations, crude images flahsing into his mind and determining the way he smiles at them.],” (25). Stanley objectifies every woman he meets. This is a continuous and long term habit of Stanley’s so, whenever he met Stella he did this to her too, and even after they have been married and are expecting a child together, he continues to do this action with every woman, including Stella’s sister Blanche. Stella turns a blind eye to Stanley’s behaviors, whereas Blanche is much more aware of them. Stanley tries to confront Blanche about the loss of the Dubois family plantation Belle Reve. When talking doesn’t work he shouts at her and Stella tells him to go outside. Blanche tells Stella to go out and get her a drink and says to Stanley, “The poor little thing was out there listening to us, and I have an idea she doesn’t understand you as well as I do,” (40). Blanche sees that Stanley has these abusive characteristics and handles it much differently than Stella. Stella may understand that Stanley is acting badly, but doesn’t react harshly to him, whereas Blanche is shocked by his behavior and chastises him for it. 

This is further shown in the next scene. Stanley has his friends over for a game of poker and drinking, while Stella takes Blanche out of the house. When Stella and Blanche get back at 2:30 A.M. the poker game is still going on. Throughout Stella and Blanche’s return Stanley becomes continually more and more angry. Stanley suggests that Stella and Blanche go upstairs with Eunice, while he and his friends continue playing. When Stella says no and asks him to wrap the game up, Stanley responds by hitting Stella on the back of her thighs in front of everyone. The other men all laugh and Stella then remarks to Blanche that, “It makes me so mad when he does that in front of people,” (50). A few moments later Stella and Blanche are laughing and talking loudly in the bedroom. Stanley then yells at them to be quiet. Blanche decides to turn on the radio and listen to music, this annoys Stanley, who turns off the radio. Later, Blanche turns on the radio again and Stanley erupts in a fit of rage smashing the radio. Stanley then proceeds to charge after and attack Stella. After this blow up Stella goes with Blanche upstairs to Eunice and Steve’s apartment to get away from Stanley. Stanley then proceeds to cry and scream Stella’s name. Eunice comes out and has the following exchange with Stanley:

Eunice: Quit that howling out there an’ go back to bed!

Stanley: I want my baby down here. Stella, Stella!

Eunice: She ain’t comin’ down so you quit! Or you’ll git th’ law on you!

Stanley: Stella!

Eunice: You can’t beat on a woman an’ then call’er back! She won’t come! And her goin’ t’ have a baby!...You stinker! You whelp of a Polack, you! I hope they do haul you in and turn the fire hose on you, same as the last time!

Stanley [humbly]: Eunice, I want my girl to come down with me!

Eunice then closes the door on Stanley and he yells for Stella one more time. This time she does come out, “The door upstairs opens again. Stella slips down the rickety stairs in her robe. Her eyes are glistening with tears and her hair is loose about her throat and shoulders. They stare at each other. Then they come together with low, animal moans. He falls to his knees on the steps and presses his face to her belly, curving a little with maternity. Her eyes go blind with tenderness as she catches his head and raises him level with her. He snatches the screen door open and lifts her off her feet and bears her into the dark flat,” (66-67). From Eunice and Stanley’s interaction it’s learned that this occurrence of Stanley attacking Stella has happened before, and at some point, to the extent that the police became involved and presumably arrested Stanley. Eunice makes the claim that Stella will not come back down to him after his eruption, but Stella does end up going back down to the apartment with him. Stanley screams her name and when she does finally come out of Eunice’s apartment he falls to his knees for her. This demonstrates that Stanley has power over Stella because he can attack her and she still comes back to him, but it also demonstrates that Stella has some kind of power over Stanley because when she tries to leave him he screams, cries, and falls to his knees for her. The stage direction also shows that Stella and Stanley have a very physical and passionate attraction to one another. As Mitch puts it, “They’re crazy about each other,” (68). Although Stella has been hurt and is upset she still goes back with him, this response to Stanley’s actions is startling, but what’s even more startling is her response the morning after these events take place. 

The next morning Stanley has left the apartment and Blanche and Stella discuss the past night’s events. Blanche is still horrified from the past night and has been extremely worried about Stella’s safety since she went back with Stanley. Stella on the other hand is very calm despite having been attacked last night. Blanche questions Stella as to why and how she could have come back and stayed with Stanley and Stella tells her that she’s making too big of a deal about the situation. Stella then continues to justify Stanley’s actions by saying, “In the first place, when men are drinking and playing poker anything can happen. It’s always a powder-keg. He didn’t know what he was doing….He was as good as a lamb when I came back and he’s really very, very ashamed of himself,” (72). Blanche questions if because of the circumstances surrounding the event Stanley’s abuse is acceptable. Stella responds, “No, it isn’t all right for anybody to make such a terrible row but‒ people do sometimes. Stanley’s always smashed things. Why, on our wedding night‒ soon as we came in here‒ he snatched off one of my slippers and rushed about the place smashing the light-bulbs with it,” (72). Blanche is shocked by this anecdote, and can’t believe Stella didn’t run away or scream, but Stella just laughs and says that she, “was‒  sort of‒  thrilled by it,” (73). Although Stella says she is thrilled by Stanley’s brash behavior it doesn’t mean that she enjoys being abused. Stella is thrilled by Stanley’s boldness, loundess, and finds him very physically attractive. If Stella were thrilled by or enjoyed being abused she would not cry, snap at Stanley, or say things like “I want to go away, I want to go away!” (63) when being attacked. Stella clearly doesn’t enjoy this aspect of her marriage, but she continues to stay with Stanley and justify his behavior because she has no choice. At the time period of the play it was more acceptable for husbands to treat their wives abusively. Women could also not easily be financially independent or unmarried. In Stella’s case she is married to Stanley, she is going to have a baby with him, and she has no other choice but to stay married to him. Stella isn’t financially independent, there aren’t many job opportunities for a woman, she will have to take care of a baby, and the money that she could fall back on from Belle Reve has been lost. As we see with Blanche who is widowed and fired from her job as a school teacher it is very difficult to be a single woman and because of this Blanche is desperately trying to get married in order to have some form of security. Stella has no other choice, but to stay married to Stanley. She justifies his horrible behavior because she has to. Stella does not want to accept or own up to the real truth about Stanley’s abuse and attitude so she makes up excuses for him and tries to make the best of things. This is further evidenced by Stella’s response to Stanley sexually asualting Blanche. Stanley denies raping Blanche and Stella decides to believe him and send Blanche to a physciatric hospital. Stella knows that Stanley did in fact assault Blanche, but chooses to act like he didn’t because she has no other choice. 

Stella finds Stanley thrilling because he’s very different from her. Stella and Blanche both came from a wealthy family and there were certain ideals regarding the men that either of them would have a relationship with. The men that they would date back home are also upper class and were expected to behave like gentlemen. Stella leaves the family when she is a teenager and goes to New Orleans where she eventually meets Stanley. Stanley is very different from the men back home. He’s rougher, more casual, loud, and from a lower class background. Stella finds this thrilling because she has rejected the idea of upper class life and ideals, who the men back home embodied. Differences can be exciting and Stanley is very different from her. Stanley also finds it exciting that Stella is from such a different background, but still wants to be with him: “When we first met, me and you, you thought I was common. How right you was, baby. I was common as dirt. You showed me the snapshot of the place with the columns. I pulled you down off them columns and how you loved it, having them colored lights going! And wasn’t we happy together, wasn’t it all okay till she showed here?” (137). Stanley likes Stella because she is a woman from a high class family, but he was able to woo her, despite being a lower class person. This is the same reason Blanche irritates Stanley so much. Blanche is an upper class woman, but is unimpressed by Stanley. This is why Stanley is so bent on proving Blanche is lying because he wants to show that she is not any better than him. 

A justification that Stella uses regarding Stanley’s behavior is that he feels sorry for his actions. However the way Stanley apologizes for the poker night incident is by sleeping with Stella, promising to no longer host poker parties at their apartment, taking the radio to get fixed, and giving her ten dollars. Stella even admits that his promise to no longer host poker games won’t last long, which is true because by the final scene of the play Stanley is back to hosting poker night. If Stanley were truly ever sorry for his actions, he would actually change his behavior. Stanley isn’t truly remorseful of his actions, he only feels some kind of surface level regret and knows he has to do something to make up for it to get Stella to stay with him. Stanley apologizes because he’s scared of Stella leaving him not because he’s honestly sorry. Stanley also believes that there is nothing wrong with his behavior and actions, which is demonstrated in the forms his apologies take place in. Another example of this is the final scene of the play. In the aftermath of Stanley’s assault and Blanche’s departure for the hospital, Stella stands on the porch holding her baby and crying. Stanley comes out onto the porch and sees Stella crying. In an attempt to smooth things over and comfort Stella from his own actions, Stanley coos pet names at her and touches her breasts. This again shows that Stanley is not actually apologetic about his assault of Blanche, but is rather scared to see Stella so upset as a result of his own doings. Stanley has wanted to hurt Blanche and get her to leave since the beginning of the play, he’s finally got his wish but now feels only mildly ashamed because Stella is heartbroken. Stanley’s only priority is to selfishly ensure Stella stays with him, and to do this he represses her feelings about his actions so their marriage can go back to “normal” for his own benefit. 

Stella Dubois and Stanley Kowalski have an incredibly tumultuous relationship that drives the story of A Streetcar Named Desire. Stanley is abusive towards Stella in countless ways. Despite his abuse and mistreatment of her, Stella justifies his behavior and continues her marriage to him. Stella does this because she has no other choice. Stanley’s behavior excites Stella, but she does not enjoy being abused by him. Stella finds Stanley exciting because he’s different from her and the men she used to date, bold, and physically attractive. Stanley forces Stella into difficult and uncomfortable situations because she has no other choice but to go along with them. Stanley only cares about himself and his own wants and he always ends up getting what he wants. He wants Stella to come back and stay with him after attacking her and she does, he wants Blanche to leave and she does, he wants Stella to stay married to him after raping Blanche and she does. Stanley always gets what he wants, but it’s never enough and he wants more and more. The tragedy of the play is the realization that it is Stanley’s desire to have whatever he pleases and Stella is trapped inside of it for the rest of her life.